My Undiagnosed ADHD, Freshman Year Failures, and Lessons Learned (and 12 Tips From Someone Who Learned the Hard Way)

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I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my early 40s — but looking back, the clues were all there during my freshman year of college. It was a perfect storm of struggles, impulsive choices, missed deadlines, and painful mistakes — my brain was battling a set of invisible challenges I couldn’t yet name. The Executive Functioning Skills I needed most - time management, task initiation, planning, organization, impulse control, working memory, and self-monitoring were almost non-existent, making it nearly impossible for me to keep up with the demands of college. Here’s a raw look back at some of the tough mistakes and failures I experienced during my first semester of college and the powerful lessons I learned that helped me become more resilient, independent, and successful.

The Taste of Freedom (and Frozen Yogurt for Dinner)

After my parents moved me into my college dorm and left, I experienced something I had never felt before: total freedom. Nobody was there to tell me when to do my homework, what to eat, or when to go to sleep. It was surreal, liberating, amazing, but it came with a price. As a newly emancipated 18-year-old with undiagnosed ADHD, I did exactly what you might expect: I stayed up way too late (which led to a few missed classes), ate a steady diet of pizza, microwave popcorn and frozen yogurt (hello, freshman fifteen), socialized constantly and basically did everything that sounded fun. I was like a kid in a candy store running amok. Schoolwork? Eh. I figured I could cram the night before and coast.

Spoiler alert: I could not.

The Final Exam Fiasco

One of my most painfully vivid memories from that year came during my first semester finals. Most of my finals were held during the last regular class meeting of the semester, so I just assumed my history final would be the same.

Wrong.

Apparently, there was this massive, printed, poster-sized, master schedule (this is pre-internet) posted in the student center—listing every course’s final exam date, time, and location. I vaguely remember seeing students looking at it, but didn’t really know what it was and assumed it didn’t pertain to me. Wrong again.

I showed up to the big lecture hall on the last day of class, ready (well, kind of ready) to take my American History final… and the room was completely empty. I checked my watch, confused and increasingly panicked. Was I late? Was it the wrong day? I had no idea what was going on.

I sprinted back to my dorm and called the history department. The final exam had been the day before — I had missed it! In a full panic, I explained the situation to the professor and begged for mercy. Thankfully, he took pity on me and let me take the final in his office, immediately. From that day on, I was diligent about checking the final exam schedule and never missed another one. Lesson learned, the hard way.

GPA: 1.925 and a Side of Humble Pie

As you can probably guess, all the distractions, poor choices and frozen yogurt caught up with me. I ended my freshman fall semester with a GPA of 1.925. I remember the exact number—not because I’m great with remembering details (I’m not) – but because I was placed on academic probation and prohibited from being initiated into my sorority.

Out of my entire pledge class, I was the only one who fell short of the minimum 2.0 GPA requirement and had to wait and re-pledge with the spring class. That experience was mortifying and a huge turning point.

Somewhere in the aftermath of that academic wake-up call, I decided I needed to make a change. I couldn’t just cram the night before and expect a decent grade. I began looking at my class syllabi and putting in consistent, realistic effort. My GPA never fell below 3.0 after that.

Looking Back (Now That I Know Better)

Although I eventually learned how to navigate my way through college, graduated with a strong GPA, and even went on to pursue graduate school, I continued to experience struggles tied to impaired executive functioning skills related to ADHD. Graduate school — and “adulting” in general — brought a whole new set of executive functioning challenges, which I’ll share in a future blog post.

It wasn’t until years later, with a diagnosis in hand, that I was able to connect the dots, make peace with my past, and appreciate how much I had overcome along the way.

Take the Next Step: Support Your Student’s Success with ADHD Coaching

If you’re a parent of a high school or college student with ADHD, I want you to know Executive Functioning struggles can make navigating life especially challenging.

ADHD coaching helps students learn skills, routines, and techniques to manage their time, stay organized, follow through on tasks, and become more independent, resilient, and successful. If you’re ready to support your student’s path toward greater independence and confidence, book a complimentary consultation today.

And be sure to check out 12 Tips to Survive Freshman Year of College (From Someone Who Learned the Hard Way) for strategies to help ease the transition to college.