When “Mom” Isn’t Your Whole Identity Anymore: What’s Next? (9 Ways to Start Discovering What You Really Want in This Next Chapter)
Image Credit: Bethany Beck via Unsplash+
It’s hard to get back into the swing of things when you haven’t worked for 20 years. I know, because I experienced it first-hand. Before kids, I was a full-time working speech therapist, but after my third child was born, I made the decision to stay home and raise my family.
Someone had to manage the endless school drop-offs and pick-ups, after-school activities, playdates, errands, meals, homework, birthday parties, holiday gifts, teacher appreciation and all the invisible labor that keeps a household running. That someone was me.
As the COO of our home, I held many job titles: driver, short order cook, laundry specialist, project manager, event planner, personal assistant, cheerleader, tutor, nurse, and late-night confidant to name a few. Some days it was absolute insanity trying to make sure no ball got dropped. And because I’ve never been someone who can sit still, while the kids were at school, I filled my days with volunteering.
It started small—room parent for my son’s class – which quickly turned into division rep, then PTA co-president. I also became Girl Scout troop co-leader for my daughter’s troop and later we joined National Charity League – a mother-daughter volunteer organization. During our 6 years as active members of the organization, I took on a variety of leadership roles: Philanthropy Liaison, VP of Membership, and eventually Chapter President. Even after my daughter graduated high school and moved on, I continued my involvement in the chapter in various leadership roles. I loved being of service and also being part of large community of many smart and successful women.
During those years, I was also doing intense hands-on parenting with my youngest, who had considerable ADHD challenges. I became his executive functioning coach – before I even knew what that was—helping with managing time, completing homework, preparing for tests, organizing materials and tasks, using a calendar effectively, communicating with teachers, practicing self-advocacy, planning and engaging in social activities, tracking and meeting due dates and ultimately applying for college. Through helping him, I developed a much deeper understanding how having a neurodiverse brain impacts daily life. I was eager and driven to learn as much as I could about practical strategies for managing the myriad of challenges associated with ADHD – for both my son and myself.
When my youngest left for college, my identity — so deeply tied to motherhood and homemaking — suddenly shifted. I found myself asking: Now what? I hadn’t had a paying job in 20 years. Was it too late to start over? Did I want to return to my career as a speech pathologist, or try something completely new?
Through a lot of self-reflection, I realized that all the years of raising a family, running a household, and supporting my community had given me a tremendous set of valuable life skills. I chose to combine those skills with my passion for helping others with neurodivergence and became a certified ADHD life coach.
Along my journey, I discovered another passion: coaching women like me — in midlife who’ve spent years putting everyone else first and are now ready to rediscover themselves and create the next chapter of their life. I know what it’s like to feel a little lost when the house gets quieter and your role as “Mom” begins to change. You may be wondering if it’s too late to start something new. I can tell you that it’s never too late to start fresh. The skills you’ve built over the years have made you resourceful, capable, and resilient. This is your time — not to start over, but to move forward with courage, wisdom, and the freedom to create a life that truly brings you joy. If you are ready for this journey of self-discovery check out 9 Ways to Start Discovering What You Really Want in this Next Chapter.